Regularity and punctuality with attending lectures is a highly enshrined value at LUMS. Students are expected to maximize their understanding and knowledge of material from what is discussed in class. This can be done by active listening, rather than passive hearing out in lecture, and by taking down notes and asking questions at important junctures. These notes can come in handy for exam preparation and quizzes as well, sine, it is possible that material that students are tested on in the exam is not available in the course text book. As an example some of the questions discussed in class may show up in the course exams, and these questions may not be available in the text book.
We can learn to be good listeners with some work and practice. The rewards can be great.
1. Know when you are not listening.
Check yourself by asking silently: Can I repeat, rephrase or clarify what has just been said?” If you can’t, the sound may be on but the replay is broken.
2. Know why you are not listening.
As you define your excuses for not listening you will systematically eradicate the ‘watching someone talk’ syndrome. Check the following common reasons for not listening and begin to take silent control of the communication.
- We hear only what we want to hear.
- We consider the topic or information unimportant.
- We jump to conclusions
- Too many other problems on our minds.
- Radical departure from our own thinking.
- Waiting for our turn to talk.
3. Avoid judgments.
Nearly all the reasons for not listening focus on our own ego and our inability to grant equal attention to another person. As soon as the person speaking is elevated to a pinnacle of importance, the active listening process begins and we weigh each thought mightily as if our lives depended on a total recitation of the prior narrative. As you fine tune your listening skills avoid listening only when you deem the speaker worthy of hearing.
4. Match your thought process to the speaker’s words.
We think and hear about 1.000 words per minute. The average speaking speed is 125 words per minute. What then do we do with the time lapse? Human nature combats the problem with anything from boredom to rudeness. Good listeners use the time to clarify, validate and reiterate the conversation topic in their mind. Listen for ideas and emotions rather than facts. Fact listening is defensive. Emotion listening is offensive. Idea listening is progressive.
5. Know thyself.
Do words like difficult, stupid, revolutionary, or assignments shut off your listening process? Does a reference to love, food or fun cause your ears to perk and your antenna to turn in? Understand where your hot and cold buttons are and adjust your listening process to circumvent any sudden shut down because of an emotion laden word or phrase. (This seems to me to be what happens with communication with husbands and wives. We allow too many words to become hot or cold buttons and therefore we render ourselves unable to really communicate)
6. Conversation always moves from agreement to disagreement and then stops.
Listeners who are involved in two way conversation and are prepared to repeat and clarify information will immediately direct the conversation back to agreement and then reach an understanding.
7. Keep alert.
Listening shuts down when both apathy and anxiety set in. Strive for enthusiasm in listening. Communicate with you body; lean forward, smile, nod, become involved by maintaining direct eye contact. If you are on the telephone; stand up, walk. The more attentive and alert, the better you listen. Listening is an acquired skill that is critically important to success in life. Adults spend about 75% of each day in verbal communication. 45% of this time is spent listening. Persons in a business or social situation who do not have good listening skills are ineffective. Mistakes due to poor listening skills cost organizations thousands of dollars each year. Listening to another is the highest form of building personal self esteem. For only when we feel good about ourselves and the world around us do we go beyond ‘waiting for our turn to talk’ or ‘watching someone else talk’ to ‘passionate’ listening that elevates us to pinnacles of thought and action separates us from animals making noise.
